There were very effeminate boys in my school and they generally did not have a good time at all initially–although it was verbal; not physical. With time, most guys just made an accommodation for them (it’s the strangest thing) that involved a don’t-ask-don’t-tell sort of unspoken arrangement.

In fact even when evidence (and I mean solid) was publicized all over the school about one guy; years later he would still talk about having a girlfriend and many people questioned no further.

When you say “pay with their lives” however, are you referring to Jamaica?
Because even in the world that is an anomaly.
In Trinidad that would be a very unusual thing. As a matter of fact, we just got our first gay character in an ad here (check http://wuzdescene.com ).
I understand that Barbados ha similar attitudes.

Lastly, what I have always found difficult about feminism (despite being difficult to define; everyone being vehement about their own peculiar definitions) is the way it plainly seems to try to pathologize masculinity while denying doing so at the same time.
I would suggest that in the same way you think that misogyny is rampant and insidious (and see it clearly) men see misandry. It sounds bizarre to you I suppose but it is true.

Who is “right”?
How do we determine this?

I would love to hear your thoughts on the state of things from the perspective of evolutionary biology/psychology.